I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
