You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
