Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
