i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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