would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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