Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
