Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
