I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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