quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
