Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and she was petting her beer can
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
