So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
