dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
