Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
