I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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