shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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