Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think I sprained my soul last night
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
