i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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