Nicole vs. Life
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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