i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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