you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
