Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
