yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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