Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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