i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We have so much sex to catch up on
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
