i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
