is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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