I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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