Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
