we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
