I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
