I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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