This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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