I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
