i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
