you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
