is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
