dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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