Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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