I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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