bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
