fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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