I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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