I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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