I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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