Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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