no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
