the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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