is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
