people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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