forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
