guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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