I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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